THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY: fire
authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest
while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was
dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that
on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20
miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip
buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire
and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in
the Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300
feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
-----------------------------------
STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY? A man was working on his motorcycle on
his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the
engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man,
still holding onto the handlebars was dragged through the glass patio doors and
along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The
wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband
lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him,
and the shattered patio door The wife ran to the phone and summoned the
ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down
the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to
her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the
hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing
that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up
the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated
and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered
patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent,
went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.
After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the
toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the
loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and
found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown
away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his
groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very
same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him
to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street
accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband
had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so
hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher dumping the husband
out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm. Taken from
a Florida Newspaper.
-----------------------------------
STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? Just remember, it could be worse... The
average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them
both.
----------------------------------
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his
arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
-----------------------------------
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand
of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
hapless protesters to death.
-----------------------------------
And finally... Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage
on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped
on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to
bits. Now, your day's not so bad, is it?