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These were sent to me rumored to be bumper stickers...  

 

 * Cover me. I'm changing lanes.  

 * Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.  

 * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? 

 * He who laughs last thinks slowest.  

 * All generalizations are false.  

 * It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.  

 * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  

 * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.  

 * I love cats...they taste just like chicken.  

 * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.  

 * Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpson's.   

 * Rehab is for quitters.   

 * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.  

 * Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.  

 * Jack Kevorkian -for White House Physician.  

 * Work is for people who don't know how to fish.  

 * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.   

 * If you don't like the news, go out and make some.  

 * When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.   

 * Sorry, I don't date outside my species.  

 * No radio - Already stolen.  

 * I took an IQ test and the results were negative.  

 * Where there's a will, I want to be in it.  

 * Some women wont admit their age; some men wont act it. 

 * I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.  

 * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.  

 * IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. 

 * Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.  

 * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. 

 * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.  

 * Give me ambiguity or give me something else. 

 * We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. 

 * Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.  

 * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.  

 * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. 

 * Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.  

 * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.  

 * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. 

 * There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.  

 * Ever stop to think and forget to start again?  

 * Keep honking...I'm reloading...