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Dogs

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." - Will Rogers

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate." - Sigmund Freud

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Anonymous

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard." - Dave Barry

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog." - Franklin P. Jones

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - Unknown

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." - Fran Lebowitz

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." - Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew A. Rooney

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -Anne Tyler

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber

AND - my personal favorite (says Jerry B.):

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
> - Robert A. Heinlein