Understanding Engineers...
#1.)
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
#2.)
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree Asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
#3.)
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many
thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
#4.)
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better
to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation
for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and
mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
"Yeah," said the engineer. "If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can
go to the lab and get some work done."
#5.)
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up
on a shiny new motorcycle. "Where did you get such a great bike?"
asked the first.
The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.' "
The second engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."