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Idiot Sightings

IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, all our office phones went dead, and I had to contact the telephone repair people.  They promised to be out between 8:00 AM and 7:00 PM.  When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"  I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working.  He also requested that we report future outages by email.

IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had not signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature that I had just signed on the receipt with the one on the back of my credit card.  So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared the signature to the one that I had just signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: Cars were hitting too many deer and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."  He said that he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"  To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"  He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.  Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun.  We should do this more often."  Not a word was spoken.  We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"  To which he replied, "I know.  I already got that side."

DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN:

A little girl was talking with her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.  The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."  The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"  The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."